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Ok, Well as you have probably guessed when i title a page with something like Cool Quotes it usually means the page has cool quotes on it. I am not sure if everyone will like these quotes but who cares - the world revolves around me so who gives a stuff about what you think. lol i am kidding the universe revolves around me. nah sorry i have sarcasm problems. so here are quotes i like - and this page is thew same as the others - if you have any good ones then send them to me and i will put them up in a contributions bit of this page. this won't be very organized so if yu are expecting it to be then you will be very dissapointed.

"If you think that something small cannot make a difference - try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room." -Unknown

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung." -Voltaire

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." -Mae West

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" -Abraham Lincoln

"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done." -Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife is dying

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln

"If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster." -Clint Eastwood

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." -Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Within you I lose myself Without you I find myself Wanting to be lost again." -Unknown

the object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.

We are not retreating we are advancing in another direction. Douglas MacAurther.

"there won't be world peace until the last king is strangled with the intestines of the last priest." -Valdez, enlightenment philosopher

"Guerilla Warfare is when we say 'ok, you have to go line up all alone in a field in neat little rows and wear bright red uniforms, we get to wear green and hide behind trees to shoot at you.' " -Manfred (my friends history teacher) explaining the Revolution

"how come it stopped? BECAUSE! At first a few people had it, and then everyone had it, and then everyone was dead, so no one had it anymore!" -Abby (one of my friends) Explaining the termination of the plague during her oral presentation

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." -Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand." -Unknown

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided i get my own way in the end." Margaret Thatcher

"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out him out again, that would be a calamity." - Benjamin Disraeli.

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast." - Ace in Red Dwarf

"LIfe is like oral sex, one slip of the tongue and you are in the shit." - Unknown.

"One of the symtoms of an approanching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." Bertrand Russell.

"Live like the sun through winter shadows." that was actually made up by those little word magnets that are stuck on my fridge, - i don't know who in my house put them like that but i thought i sounded hella cool.

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Joe E Lewis

"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass." - Denis Leary

"Work is the curse of the drinking class." - Oscar Wilde

"He was a wise man who invented beer." - Plato

"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." - Dave Barry.

"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?" - Art Hoppe

"How can i believe in God when just last week i got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" - Woody Allen

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn." - Fulton Sheen

"In the begining the was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it." - Dave Thomas

"When i was a kid i used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then i realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so i stole one and asked him to forgive me." - Emo Philips.

"I hate quotations" - Ralph Waldo Emerson